I like to begin each of my guided tours by encouraging guests to grab my attention whenever they see something of interest, desire a photo stop, or simply want to ask a question. “Scratch, scream, holler, kick, scrab, jump up and down – do whatever it takes. Our busses have good brakes and some of the newer models even have a reverse gear!”
“… when you see something interesting…”
I then like to tell a joke about the Newfoundlander who was “fed up working in Toronto”, marching directly to the nearest car lot to negotiate a price on a vehicle to “get home out of this.” Unfortunately, he hadn’t saved a big pile of money, and the salesman explained that the best he could get for such a paltry offering was an old Volkswagen they had stored out back – warning him in advance, “You should know, this rig doesn’t have reverse.” To which the Newfoundlander responded with a dismissive wave, “No need to worry about that, my son. I wasn’t planning on coming back anyway.”
“… but she ain’t got reverse…”
I like to think this puts the group at ease and sets the tone for the type of tour we deliver; informative but fun. Which is further supported by my next comment; “Now don’t worry about embarrassing me or putting me on the spot with your questions – you can ask me anything. If I don’t know the answer, it won’t take me long to make something up.”
Which of course, is only partially true. There’s no doubt we deliver a light and anecdotal account of our history, but we strive to support our stories with hard facts and good information. What you must know however, is that many of your questions don’t have straight answers, and thus we often find ourselves providing an educated guess, or at least the best interpretation we can surmise.
A great example of this is when guests marvel at the magnificent homes and gardens they see all throughout the province.
“Everything is so well kept.”
“Everything is so well kept. The houses are all freshly painted, lawns are mowed, gardens planted, flowers bloom – even their driveways are shining with a new coat of sealant! Why is that?”
Hmmmmm,,,, how do I even begin explaining this?
Most of our communities have a municipal council who enact rules and regulations about property upkeep. What town doesn’t? And even when they do – there are times when they don’t.
Which I explain with a story about the Newfoundlander who made an appointment with Dr. Olds to inquire if firewood could cause eyesores? Dr. Olds (a famous American surgeon who, after completing his studies at John Hopkins University, spent a lifetime in the Town of Twillingate) had a great sense of humour, and upon further questioning discovered that the local municipality sent the skipper a notice requesting the removal of the winter supply of logs he’d stored in front of his home – suggesting it was an “eyesore”. Dr. Olds gladly wrote a note to assure council that a woodpile could not affect the vision of the townsfolk, and since no one dared confront or contradict the good Doctor, the gentleman was never bothered about his firewood again.
“… can firewood cause eyesores?”
Obviously, further explanation is required, and along with that, a little advisory about asking questions, because there’s no such thing as a short answer in Newfoundland.
To explain the ‘Tidy Towns’ you must first realize that most of the homeowners in Newfoundland’s ‘Outport’ communities are either fishermen, retired expatriate tradesmen who have recently relocated “home”, or they are part of a migratory workforce who enjoy ample downtime following every “hitch” they pull in the oil patch. Blessed with an excess of time and money, they seem inherently bound to apply their skills in the development of new projects and home improvement programs.
Additionally, guests must understand that we live in a matriarchal society where the women run everything. I often claim that if there’s one thing a Newfoundland man does better than any other fellow on the planet, its what we’re told. Thus, we not only have a ‘Job Jar’, but an added incentive to please the head of the household by completing as many chores as possible.
Weather also plays an important factor in Newfoundland’s home maintenance schedule. High winds, significant precipitation, and highly variable temperature swings can lift loose siding, tear worn shingles, and wash away landscaping features that exhibit any sign of weakness. Just like the upkeep on a ship, we make certain the hatches are battened down and everything is in good working order.
“… weather plays an important factor…”
One must also consider our propensity towards a socialistic environment where friends, family and neighbours are always ready to offer a helping hand. When I mow my lawn, I’m more than apt to carry on to the adjacent property to ensure my brother’s grass is also trimmed, knowing he will do the same the next time I’m away.
Pride in property is another contributing factor. The most effective way to demonstrate wealth and success in a community that places such a high value on land ownership and work ethic, is through proper home construction and maintenance. We achieve a position of prestige by converting idle to Idol.
And perhaps this provides the most effective interpretation, to put it simply, Newfoundlanders make their idle time look idyllic.
