CHEESE PLEASE

I recently hosted a media awareness program for Newfoundland’s department of tourism that included a sunrise tour of Cape Spear, a national park located at the most eastern point of land in all of North America. We captured beautiful photos and enjoyed a great start to a most promising day with one of the girls receiving over 10,000 likes on her Instagram before we left the park. Yet, for all the advancements we enjoy in today’s digital age of communication as a most effective means of promotion – there are still times when a local interpretation proves more than necessary.

 

 

Blessed by an especially early dawn, we were back in the city of St. John’s with enough time to squeeze in a quick bite before our next meeting at the Johnson Geocenter (a beautiful and brilliantly designed interpretive facility for Newfoundland’s many geological wonders). Instead of swinging into a drive through for coffee and donuts I suggested a breakfast stop at a local diner and favorite morning haunt of mine – ‘The Big R’ restaurant. All hands were more than intrigued by my description of a “Newfoundland Diner” and so it was agreed that we should head up the hill to Harvey Road with its commanding view of the harbour.

 

 

As I drove I glanced in the rear-view mirror to see all hands frantically scrambling with their handheld phones. Not unusual for a bunch of instagrammers, bloggers and writers – but what I didn’t realize at the time is that they were googling in search of a second, third and perhaps a hundred more reviews, critiques and opinions on my restaurant choice.

We took a seat and a lovely waitress appeared immediately. I ordered tea but one of the girls piped up and suggested that the restaurant review she was reading said the coffee was excellent here.

“Would you like fresh milk?” our waitress asked

“Don’t suppose you have any in a can?”, I asked.

“You know we do.”, she said.

At which point one of the boys chimed in;

“Yes it says here on this site that they have canned milk. I was wondering what that was.”

I explained it was condensed milk that came in a can; a local favorite that puts a lovely flavour on both tea and coffee. So everyone ordered the canned milk and agreed that it was indeed wonderful.

Next came our food order. Again they deferred to my lead but expressed some dismay when I didn’t order ‘Toutons’. Again pointing to the display on the phone;

“It says here that we have to try toutons. What’s a touton anyway?”

“Fried bread dough. They make their own bread here and whatever doesn’t make it into a baking pan is fried up in thick slabs – something like a pancake or a flapjack! They’re wicked but it’ll hit your stomache like a stone. Not for me but if you’re truly famished; nothing will fill that hole like a touton. As the crowd around here say; Have a touton – you can’t do without n”

Our meal arrived promptly and it looked perfectly amazing – except there was no ‘Cheeze Whiz’ on the condiment tray. When I mentioned this to our waitress the group giggled again;

“Yup, every review says they have Cheeze Whiz here. What is Cheeze Whiz?”

“Seriously?”, I asked somewhat incredulously. “You’ve never had Cheeze Whiz?”

“Is it some kind of local cheese?”

“I suppose you could say that – better bring out a round for everyone darling.”

All hands followed my lead as we slathered our bread with the orange tinted paste, dipped the egg yolk, and inhaled the first bite. I closed my eyes, taking complete delight in the perfect combination of taste, texture and warmth – relishing a moment that was abruptly interrupted by the exuberant exclamation from across the table;

“Spreadable cheese? Brilliant mate!”

“Eh boy? Would you expect anything less from such a perfect destination? Let’s just make certain we acknowledge every detail from this morning and start “spreading” the word about Newfoundland!”

Andrew McCarthy